Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
