Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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