I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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