So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
