Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
