Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He passed out mid-signature
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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