I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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