Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
