im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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