It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
