thus making me awesome and them whores
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
