Plan B is the new Plan A
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
