school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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