Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
