i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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