I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
