We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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