He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
