you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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