Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
