Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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