i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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