I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
