i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
