what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
