**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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