i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
