i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize