girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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