What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Naked. naked and bneed help.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize