Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
