so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
