I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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