called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
