I hate all girls vehemently.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
