he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
