I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
