Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
