Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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