Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog

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(973): View more from New Jersey

And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds

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(913): View more from Kansas

he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.

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(518): View more from New York

I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.

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(818): View more from California

I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...

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(303): View more from Colorado

No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.

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(415): View more from California

I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.

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