Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
