I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
