So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
