When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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