I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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