Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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