...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
