WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize