i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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