Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
