i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
