I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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