worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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