but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
