That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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