ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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