nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
