My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
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