You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
