Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
