Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize